In an hour and a half, it will be 12.12.12 ..... so what?
Everyone is posting on Facebook about 12.12.12 ..... and I don't see the significance in it. I understand that 12 is a number of wholeness in many cultures, and that it's supposed to be a magical day that provides luck to everyone.. but I just don't know.
I find it hard to believe in anything anymore. I trust too much. I rely on the goodness in others too much. I give too much. I just can't continue to think that there's good in the world, when I struggle so hard to see it.
I hate this time of the year. I've been asked by so many how I can hate Christmas (blasphemy!). It's not that I hate Christmas.... I just hate what the season has become. This whole season was about spending time with those you love, and helping those in need. Nowadays, it's become about who has the biggest and best gifts, how much money you spend, and greed. I can't take it.
I have given more this season than I have in the past years.... and yet I seem to fall farther and farther back into the abyss that has become my life. I can't find my smile without others being around. I want to. I want to be a better person. I want to do more things in my life. I want to have fun, and be carefree, and exciting. And I set all these awesome goals with every intent of starting to do something with my life... and I fail. Every. Single. Time.
I need a muse. A bit of inspiration. I need a change.
-R.
I need a friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment