..... something changed within me.....
.....I became genuinely happy.....
....and now....
...my life can truly begin....
I recently received my tax returns, and rather than rush out and spend it on emptiness, like drinking my life away in the bar, spending money on people who don't reciprocate the kindness, or buying the unnecessary shit that society tells me I need, I made a mental list of all the awesome things I've ever wanted to do....
And from there, I decided that I needed to do more things for me. I spend five days a week taking care of other people's kids, stressing over these kids' futures and choices, making sure they stay out of trouble... and the rest of my time is spent taking care of friends, making them happy... and for what? It's not my responsibility.
So my first stop on this journey for myself was to a sporting goods store, in which I picked up a 6-person tent for $100. Yep... I sure did. I don't need a 6 person sleeper, but I wanted it, because, let's face it, I could go out camping, and keep everything in my tent. From there, I went to an electronics store, and finally bought myself a decent camera. So in addition to my Polaroid camera (yes, they still make those), two lomography cameras, an old 35mm that belonged to my grandmother, and the camera on my cell phone, I now own a Canon rebel. And for shits and giggles, I bought a tripod, because let's face it, I'm not the most graceful or balanced person. (*Side note: I broke my ankle running down a flight of stairs, I fell of a bike and needed 13 stitches [two under the skin], tore a ligament in my knee, and pulled a piano bench across my shin, which could have resulted in a broken bone, plus all the times I walk into things). Next on my journey was to hit the arts supply store, which was having a mega sale, so I got tons of awesome things. I've also finished setting up my altar (two years in the making), so now I can meditate and practice within my home. And about ten minutes ago, I signed up for a photography class that my mother had recently completed -- The Rebel's Guide to Falling in Love with Photography
You can read about it on her blog: Sticks and Stones (and these old bones)
In these coming weeks, there will be pictures, there will be artwork, there will be the emotions that I feel inside radiating out in whatever ways that I can make them come. I only wish that others can experience what I feel inside. And I'm going to simplify my life. I don't need the fallacies that society portrays we do, and I can do things for free that I enjoy. And if I have to go alone, so be it.
Follow your arrow, wherever it points.
-R.
PS: You need to see this....
Follow Your Arrow
