I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless, & in this moment I am happy.

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.

I was talking with my friend Bmac today, and he is experiencing a lot of the same issues that I am.... loneliness, unhappiness, despair, anguish.  I told him to do things that he enjoys, but he said that even when he does, he still wakes up in a bummed mood.

So we starting talking about things that we wanted to do..... and I got to thinking.....

Why not?  Why can't we do the things we want to do?  I want to learn to play the ukulele.  I have two of them.  Why can't I learn them?  Who's stopping me?

I am.

Why am I so afraid of starting something new?  Is it a fear of failure?  I hate failing.  But, I also hate winning.  Weird right?  It's like, I do just enough to keep me in the high B, low A area in school, but if I truly applied my talents, I could easily have high A's in every class.  I cut corners on projects so that I can finish them faster.  Sometimes they get noticed; however, more often they get overlooked. 

Why can't I travel the world?  Why can't I decide on a dissertation topic?  Why can't I learn the uke?  Why can't I learn Spanish?  Why can't I?  Why?

Do what you think you can't.  Push yourself to the limits of your comfort zone.  Don't be afraid of failing.  Don't be afraid of winning.  Just don't be afraid. 

I'll be working on that uke now.  And once I learn a song, maybe I'll record it, and add the video to here.


You were meant to live for so much more.

-R.