'Cause I'm a ramblin' man, and I ain't ever gon' change. I've got a gypsy soul to blame and I was born for leavin'

This monotony is killing me.

I need an out.  I need a change.  I need to do something bigger with my life... not bigger like money or fame.  Bigger, like changing the world.  I feel so helpless.  I feel stuck in a job that I can't seem to change (or be creative).  I feel like my soul is slowly dying.  Since before the breakup, the only time I truly felt like myself was when I was driving down the highway with my two best friends, or up in the mountains watching the wild life with my mom.  Or even just out looking for geocaches.  I'm not meant to be stuck in a cubicle all day.

I need to find something better.  I need the ocean, a cause that I can actually do something amazing in, and a friend.

It's hard to believe that I have become so disconnected with everything that I once felt connected to.  It's like a whole is opening in my heart, and no matter what I do to make myself happy, it just makes it worse.

I miss my friends.  I miss BMac, B. Michael, Bert, Sherpa, Dano, Dena, Brian, Meeks, Vick, Spad, Heinz, Erica.  I miss being able to walk out my front door and know that someone was just a short walk away.  I miss going for joy rides, camping, bonfires, guitars, and all around shenanigans.  I miss watching Family Guy, snuggled in my bed with my future "husband".  I miss Amber's smile and laugh.  I miss Lizzie Loo.  I miss being able to go to work at the bar, and seeing everyone who truly cared about me in one place. 

I miss my home.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore.  I need a purpose.

You'll find better love.

-R.