I wish I could be just a little less dramatic, like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames...

I'm not the girl that got away, but the girl you failed to keep. 


Hello followers and friends!




I know it's been a while, and while I would like to apologize, I'm not going to.  You see, I went through a dark time.  It took me a while to get through it, but I think I have finally come out for the better.

Before I get into the details of everything, I want to put this disclaimer out there.... yes, I will admit that I though about hurting myself during this rough time.  BUT I DID NOT!  Self-harm is never an option, nor is suicide.  I would have never hurt myself.  I know that people would be disappointed in me. 




Ok, now down to the nitty gritty deets....

So, I've been in a depression for a while.  It got so bad that I ended up not going to work a couple times.  Simply because I couldn't get out of bed.  I was suffering from insomnia, and couldn't seem to fall asleep.  Once I managed to, I couldn't get myself out of bed.

I reached out for help.  I went to my doctor, who recommended a couple of therapists.  (I have yet to find one I like, but whatever.  I can do this.)  I turned to friends and family for help.  And then, by the grace of a higher power....

I discovered that my ex was now in a relationship.  With a very attractive girl.  And he tells her all the same things he used to say to me. 

So had a five minute melt-down after this, because, well.... let's be honest.  No one likes being the miserable one while their ex is loving their life.  I cried.  I yelled.  I called my momma. 

And then I did the bravest thing I have ever done.... I cleaned out anything and everything that reminded me of him.  Presents, collectibles, a friggin' digital photo frame!  I got rid of it.  AND.... I even placed my wedding dress on eBay.  Without the tears!

Holy crap I feel so liberated!  I finally feel happy.  I've started dating again.  Nothing serious, but everything in due time.

So with this post, may you find your strength to find your happiness.  And if you're struggling, please reach out to someone you love. 

And always know, dear readers, that I love each and everyone one of you, and am truly blessed to share this experience with you.



-R.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet, did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back to the Milky Way?

True success is about satisfying your spirit with spirit things.

 I was reading Karen Salmonsohn's book How to be Happy, Dammit! and life lesson #40 had that line in it.  And it just jumped off the page at me.  I've been so wrapped up in my life, trying to find a new job that paid me more money, so that I could be more, ahem, successful in my life....

Boy am I wrong!

It's not the money that makes a person happy.  I go shopping constantly, trying to get something new that helps me feel happy... and I'm like a child.  I play with it once or twice, and never touch it again.  Eff!!!!! 

I spent last Monday doing things that I enjoyed by myself... for FREE!  I went geocaching, and finally found one that's been bothering me for a while now.  I drove with the windows rolled down, the music cranked up, belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs.  And I felt so refreshed! 

Last weekend was the best weekend I've had in a really long time.  I spent time at a friend's house, chatting with people that I never really get to talk to intimately, and played Apples to Apples!  I went to the salon and got a haircut after a year of not having one!  I picked up some sale items at Hobby Lobby for my smash book.  I met some new people at Barnes & Noble, and found a great connection with them.

Life is good!  I am satisfying my spirit with spirit things.  Instead of spending money, and trying to fill the void with material things, I am working on being the best person that I can possibly be.  I am doing what I need.  I am spending time alone, and loving every minute of it.  I'm not giving a damn about what people think.  I could care less.  I'm happy.  For the first time in... a really long time... Like since I was a kid. 

I am truly, honestly, ecstatically happy.

And I don't give a damn :)

Do something that satisfies your spirit without spending a dime.

-R.